


Fallen

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Smallville RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-08-15
Updated: 2008-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-03 14:14:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8717017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Jared's fallen through the cracks of society becoming a stripper to make a living until one night changes his life forever and he meets a stranger named Jensen.





	1. Truths Be Told

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

  
Author's notes: I hope you enjoy it, it's a little out there compared to what I usually write. A little darker and some more controversial issues. Very Sarah Mclachlan inspired (and the title comes from the song "Fallen" by her.)

My boyfriend has been very ill for a while and I haven't been able to do a lot of writing. So this is my resurgence from my pseudo-hiatus. Once again hope you enjoy.

* * *

**What's it like to be fallen? It's the bitter taste of losing everything you've held dear.**

 

Scattered amongst the tin foil, burnt spoons and un-sterilized needles. Under the bruises, blood shot eyes and shaggy straw hair. Somewhere between the floor boards, ripped curtains, and over-turned tables. A boy no more than 18 fell between the cracks. From the suburbs to skid row, the rise and fall of a boy that lost it all.

 

“I just need another hit,” He said into the crackling receiver.

 

“You still haven’t paid me back from last time Jared, Michael wants his money.”

 

“He’ll get it,” Jared snapped, hanging up the phone. His mind wandered, the thoughts of how he was going to make the money swarming his mind. This was his life, the bottom rung of society, the people left behind, forgotten and alone.

 

Jared stared at the ceiling, his dilated pupils tracing a line down the center. The phone rang and Jared refused to answer it. What did it matter if he answered it anyway? He was doomed to a life of drugs, abuse and empty promises made by his clients of a life he would never see.

 

He sighed as he heard the recording that he knew all too well. When he heard the happy-go-lucky-everything-is-perfect-in-my-life voice asking to leave a message he nearly threw up.

 

_Hey it’s Jared, I’m not in leave a message._

 

“Hey Jay, it’s me Chad, I found a place where you can make some cash tonight. I bet you can make a lot too. Meet me by the bridge in 2 hours.”

 

He got up made his way to the small washroom on the opposite side of the room. Staring at his slimmed, sunken face he forced a smile. Applied at bit of eye liner and shakily walked to his bed. Shimmying his long legs into a pair of tight jeans and a piece of cloth not even allowed to be called a shirt over his broad frame.

 

If the shirt cannot be called a shirt, should the boy be called a boy? He's barely a person, rather a walking skeleton. A bag of bones, walking around with sunken in eyes and cheeks. Just another face you pass by quickly as you scurry off from a club late at night. The same face that comes to sit beside you on the bus and you move to the opposite side. Is he really a person? Or Just another face? His eyes as hollow as a dead tree, and his heart barely being able to keep the beat. Yep he's just another face.

 

He got up straightened his floppy hair, slipped his feet into his shoes and walked out the front door. Sitting at the bus stop, from the corner of his eye a group of young boys passed him by. Laughing and shoving each other. Parading around with their iPods and sport jackets. Un-phased by the world surrounded by them, consumed by the ‘white-picket-fence’ reality they had grown accustomed to. That's when it struck him.

 

Not too long ago, maybe a summer or so he had his arm linked with guys just like that; those boys were him. It's hard to imagine now. Pasty skin, dark eyes and floppy hair. That’s when the feeling sunk in. Dejected, depressed, spiritless, sad , melancholy, downhearted and dull could never even begin to describe the feeling eating away at his stomach. The pain of realizing what he had become slowly eroded his emotionless face, he broke down and cried. Head buried in hands, boney elbows upon boney pasty knees, he just sat there. Tears streaming down his cheeks.

 

The bus finally arrived, he paid his fare and sat down at the back. No one seemed to care about the boy who looked like he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. It seemed that Jared’s life was full of two-faced, backstabbing lowlifes. Except for the only person he could count on, Chad.

 

The bus stopped at the bridge and Jared with his head held low, stepped off the bus to a waiting Chad.

 

“What took you so long?” Chad asked.

 

Jared would never let him know about the little breakdown he had at the bus stop. Chad was a good friend, but sometimes he could be a real jerk. Jared shrugged off Chad’s question, in some ways afraid to give him an answer. 

 

~*~

 

They arrived at the bar soon after meeting up at the bridge. 

 

It was late by now. The usual people were crowded into the hot, stuffy room. Music was blaring, people where drinking, yelling, cussing and dancing. He looked around; there were new faces, old faces, young faces. Here for different reasons, from different places, but yet all had something in common. 

 

Jared got up on shaky legs and walked over to the back room. From the empty bottles of alcohol, discarded condom wrappers and used needles it’s pretty obvious what goes on around there, but the police don't come around here any more. It seems this small place was forgotten completely by society. 

 

The bar owner notices Jared immediately and comes over to him.

 

“My name’s Chris,” He says, eying Jared up and down pleased by what he sees before him.

 

“I’m Jared,” he replies and he can feel Chris’ eyes piercing his soul. He knows that just by looking at him Chris knows Jared’s story. He knows everything. He knows the boy behind the face.

 

Jared knows what he’s here for and gets down to business, asking Chris to show him to his room. Chris does so without hesitation and Jared knows in a few minutes a part of his innocence will be lost forever. He’s done it before, but this time things are different. This time he’s fallen deeper and further than he ever has. He’s sunk so low, but that’s just how it has to be.

 

A few minutes pass and the lights begin to dim. The sound of the music fills the bar and Jared takes his place on the stage. He plays his part and as each piece of clothing is shed he feels wounded. He’s writhing in pain in front of a sea of faces laughing and cheering. Chris motions for him to get closer to the crowd and he does. Hands are everywhere grabbing him, creating more wounds. Wounds that will never heal.

 

He tried his best, done all that he could. But this is his life now, this is who he is. An older man, probably married with 2.5 children stuffs dollar bills into his underwear and gropes him uncomfortably. 

 

The music won’t stop, and the drugs and alcohol are making him dizzy. Everyone sees the bar as a place to have fun and drop your inhibitions, but Jared sees it as a plantation, forcing him to work in chains. 

 

By the time it’s finally over the bright lights have blinded him and the music has deafened him. He heads back to his room with the lingering knowledge of what he’s just done. He’s done it so many times before, but he knows after this one there’s a black mark on his soul that he can’t wipe clean.

 

The worst part is, this is only the beginning. For him the night has just begun. 

 

He heads to the backrooms once more and Chris is there waiting with his arm around a strange man. 

 

“This is Jason.” Chris says with a smile and a wink to Jared.

 

Jared mumbles a “hey,” and keeps quiet.

 

“He’s going to show you the ropes tonight,” Chris says, patting Jason on the back.

 

Jason takes Jared into one of the secluded rooms and locks the door behind him. He lays 300 dollars out onto the table and nods at Jared.

 

Jason pushes Jared onto the small bed in the room and unbuckles his belt, pulling his jeans down just low enough so he can get his cock out before sliding Jared’s jeans and underwear off and begins teasing his hole. 

 

Jason positions his dick at the base of Jared’s tight heat and growls into Jared’s ear. Jared cringes, he never wanted his first time to be like this. Never would he have wanted to lose his virginity in the backroom of a strip club. He doesn’t know how he allowed himself to slip and fall so far.

 

Jared has second thoughts. He pushes at Jason and tells him he can’t go through with this. Jason has other ideas and tightens his grip around Jared’s neck. The fear wells up in Jared’s eyes as he realizes what is happening to him. He remembers giving Jason a condom but he sees it on the floor tossed aside as Jason makes a forceful intrusion. 

 

Jason slaps and punches Jared as he takes what he wants. There’s a rush of blood, sweat and labored breath and before he knows it the ordeal is over. Jason is zipping up his pants, throwing his t-shirt on and heading out the door.

 

Jared lies in the bed, bleeding, battered and broken. This is his life now. This is what he has become. There isn’t a way to be redeemed, he’s sunk so low.

 

Once more dilated pupils traced the ceiling as Jared lost himself before he covered his face, unable to face the world.

 

The door opened once more and a tall young man entered. He was shorter than Jared, and no older than 21. His eyes were the perfect shade of green, his short hair framed his handsome face perfectly. This man was different from the rest who were there that night, Jared could feel it.

 

"Are you okay?" The man asked sweetly.

 

He continued to stare at the man. This was the first time in a long time anyone paid attention to him, maybe he was human. Maybe he wasn’t just another face after all. It was obvious by now he did have emotions, he did have feelings. The young man wiped away at Jared’s blood and tear-stained cheeks, paying special attention as to not hurt him. 

 

“ ‘m Jared,” He managed to say taken aback by the strangers kindness. The stranger had shown him more love and affection than anyone ever had in his short 18 years of life.

 

“My name’s Jensen,” the man replied.

 

Jared smiled at him and he smiled back, wiping his bruises. 

 

Jared tried to speak but found it difficult to. Jensen just told him to relax as he helped Jared into his tight jeans and a piece of cloth that could barely be called a shirt.

 

Jensen reached out and touched Jared’s cheek and in that moment Jared knew everything was alright.

 

“Did he…?” Jensen started before Jared gave a nod.

 

“Did he use a condom?” Jensen asked.

 

Tears welled up in Jared’s eyes at the possibility of what might have happened. Jason didn’t use a condom and if he frequented places like the bar…

 

The worst possible thoughts flooded Jared’s mind. Who knows what Jason could have had, and worst of all there was now a possibility he could be HIV positive. 

 

_Figures_ Jared thought, _I have sex once and already I could be HIV positive_.

 

Jensen helped Jared up onto his feet and placed an arm behind his neck helping him to walk.

 

“Lets get you to the hospital,” Jensen said.

 

Jared nodded and limped through the door and out of the bar with Jensen’s help. Jensen’s truck was parked nearby and they both got in. The moment was awkward before Jensen started the car. It was unlike anything either of them had ever experienced before.

 

They sat and stared like it was only them in the world. Jared stared at the only person who saw behind his face and noticed him, while Jensen stared at the remarkable 18 year old boy who somehow slipped through the cracks of society and whom everyone had forgotten about.


	2. Serendipity

  
Author's notes: Second installment! Contains various references to drugs and self mutilation or "cutting" as the kids call it. But it's all very minor. Hope you enjoy the small insights into Jared's past, more will be revealed, I promise.

* * *

The cracked white walls and dingy tiles that hadn’t been cleaned in weeks would fool you about this place. It was a hospital, but Jared knew better. It was a hospital, but not really. It was much more than that. This place gave out life and death sentences. It controlled your fate and often times when you came in you left with your head held low and tears streaming down your face. That is, if you were lucky enough to leave at all.

 

His wounds were treated, the ones the doctors could see anyway. They patched him up and for now made the hurt go away. There would be scars later, and they would always remind him of how real the past was.

 

As Jared got called into the Doctor’s room he flashed Jensen a half hearted smile. Jensen would have to wait outside while Jared got his blood work done.

 

His doctor was a tall lean man who surprisingly stood a few inches taller than Jared. His hair was sleek, jet black and pulled back into a ponytail.

 

“Why don’t you tell me about your night Jared?” Dr. Jenkins asked him.

 

Jared stared at him blankly, he was hollow and emotionless. He was just _raped_ for God’s sake. It was always a risk, Jared knew that. He just never imagined it would happen his first time ever. He got caught up in this life of poverty, despair and burden.

 

Jared can’t bring himself to speak; the words are on the tip of his tongue but refuse to exit. There’s a stinging pain in his eyes, and he feels about ready to throw up. He simply asks for a glass of water. It wasn’t always supposed to be like this, his old life was different. 

 

~*~ One summer ago ~*~

 

The night was crisp and cool. Not like you would expect in the middle of July. The wind rushed through the trees and the stars were shining high above. The moon reflected off the lake and the entire area was soft quiet and serene.

 

Jared was smiling for once in his life. He held Tom’s hand and used the other to skip a stone along the water’s surface. When Tom’s lips collided with his own, it was a rush. He’d been fighting it for so long; the cuts and bruises along his arms were proof enough of that. The battle had finally ended, this was who he was. Tom was beside him, college was almost here.

 

And that was all that mattered.

 

~*~

 

“Jared?” Dr. Jenkins asked.

 

Jared jumped a little, not realizing how far away from reality he could slip sometimes. The trees had faded, the wind slowed to a standstill and the water of the beautiful lake had receded. All that remained were the desolate tiled walls that bore witness to countless amounts of suffering.

 

“I – I was raped tonight,” Jared said softly. The pain Jason caused him was nothing compared to the shame he would feel for the rest of his life. It didn’t even last 15 minutes, but Jason changed his life forever. 

 

“Did you go to the police before coming here?” Dr Jenkins continued.

 

“N – no,” Jared continued to mutter. His sunken in cheeks and eyes giving way to the pressure that had been building, the tears streaming down his bruised face.

 

“Alright, well I’m just going to take a little blood sample, okay?”

 

Jared nodded, keeping his head down.

 

“We should know the results by tomorrow, can you come in then?”

 

Jared nodded once more, holding his hand out as Dr. Jenkins brandished a fresh syringe. 

 

“This might hurt just a little,” The doctor warned him.

 

Jared almost laughed; he had grown all too accustomed to a needle’s sting. He couldn’t even feel it anymore. Ever since he met Michael, his fear of needles had been overcome. It was always just one more time, but one more time became 10 more times and 10 more times became 20 more times. It was weird, and Jared wasn’t even sure why he did it. Whenever the tip pierced through him, something would ignite in his veins, put his injuries all in the dust and the world for a few hours seemed a little less fucked up.

 

The red fluid flowed freely out of him and the doctor put a small piece of cotton over the minor wound. 

 

Now all he could do was wait. Wait to live, wait to die, wait for redemption that might never come.

 

~*~

 

He went back out into the waiting room; eyes darting for the man who he was sure had saved his life.

 

He sighed and his heart sunk when he saw the chairs were empty. Jensen was long gone.

 

_Why would he care about a little fuck-up like me anyway?_ Jared thought, glancing at the scrape marks and scars near his wrist.

 

He was a train wreck Jensen wouldn’t want to clean up. That’s how it always was.

 

“Hey,” Jensen said coming up from behind and tapping Jared on the shoulder flashing a smile that would melt anyone’s heart.

 

“I figured you could use a drink,” Jensen said handing him a chai latte from the hospital Starbucks.

 

Jared smiled and blushed a bright shade of pink. Next time he wouldn’t be so quick to judge. Jensen’s eyes were so big and bright, Jared knew there were secrets locked away in there and one day Jensen might want to share them. One day.

 

“What did the doctor say?” Jensen asked, the concern apparent in his voice.

 

“I’ll find out the results tomorrow,” Jared replied. Not even his own father had shown him this much concern. The only person that ever did was Tom, but he was gone now. His mother had died shortly after he was born. “Complications” was the reason, complications regarding her pregnancy. He knew why she died better than anyone, and how could he have forgotten? His dad would yell and scream it every night when he would come home drunk and disillusioned, torturing Jared, hitting him, beating him making him “pay” for taking his wife away.

 

“Can I drive you home?” Jensen asked, smiling with his big bright eyes at Jared once more.

 

Jared nodded, and together they walked into the black shade of night, and into Jensen’s truck.

 

~*~

 

Jensen pulled up to Jared’s apartment, looking up at the dilapidated building. It was old, littered with graffiti and broken windows. 

 

“You have to stay with me tonight,” Jensen blurted out abruptly. 

 

“What?” Jared questioned.

 

“Well, this place I mean. It doesn’t look safe, and my apartment is closer to the hospital anyway. I can drive you by in the morning.” Jensen continued.

 

Jared stared into Jensen’s face, he was starting to pout and he was so god damned _cute_. He knew what happened to boys that got involved with him, like what happened to Tom. Jensen was sweet, caring and smart, Jared didn’t deserve him. At least, he though so.

 

“Really, I couldn’t. I don’t want to be any trouble,” Jared lied.

 

“It’s no trouble at all, my place is big enough,” Jensen said happily.

 

“Won’t your boyfriend mind though?” Jared asked. That was about as subtle as Jared Padalecki ever got.

 

“I live by myself,” Jensen replied.

 

“Please?” Jensen begged, and with a pouty lip Jared was hooked. He couldn’t say no to that face and in all honesty he wasn’t looking forward to going back into his own apartment anyway.

 

~*~

 

They arrived together at Jensen’s apartment building and Jensen awkwardly fumbles with his keys opening the door and getting into the elevator with Jared.

 

The elevator stops at the 18th floor and Jensen walks down the long corridor to his apartment door opening it and showing Jared inside.

 

Jared sat down on the couch taking his shoes off and wriggling his toes in Jensen’s soft white carpet. It’s a far cry from the cold stone floors he’s used to stepping on, trying to avoid the broken glass and shattered fragments of his broken windows. 

 

Jensen brings him a cup of tea from the kitchen and sits down next to him on the couch, trying not to make Jared feel _too_ awkward about being here. He already had to beg to get Jared here, and Jensen Ackles _never_ begs.

 

Jared has had a profound effect on Jensen, and in the few short hours he’s known Jared he knows Jared has changed him.

 

“What were you doing at the club anyway?” Jared asked, trying not to sound ungrateful.

 

Jensen thinks for a second and decides to tell the truth, before he gets caught up in that tangled web, it’s better that way.

 

“I was looking for you,” Jensen says and Jared is a little surprised.

 

“I saw you on the stage earlier and I knew I had to meet you,” Jensen says as he blushes, sounding a little more fan-girly than he would have liked. 

 

“I’m glad you found me,” Jared says as he moves _just_ a little closer to Jensen. 

 

Jensen smiles that wide grinned smile of his once more and Jared loses it. His hand is squeezing Jensen’s hair and he’s biting Jensen’s lip. He knows what happened to Tom, and he’s not going to let it happen to Jensen. His inhibitions are thrown in the wind, and they won’t be back again.

 

When Jensen’s tongue pushes in between his teeth, he _feels_ it, and he can’t resist.

 

They kiss for what seems like hours, but really it’s only been about 5 minutes. Time has stood still, it’s just them and a big apartment with white carpeting that feels good to wriggle your toes around in.

 

It’s late by now and they are both getting sleepy. Wounds are still fresh, cuts have yet to mend and Jensen suggests that Jared sleeps on his bed and he’ll take the couch.

 

Jensen’s hands are underneath his head as his pupils trace the ceiling, Jared has taken over and he’s all he can think about.

 

10 Minutes pass and Jared comes out of Jensen’s bedroom in some skimpy shorts. Jared can’t sleep, he’s scared and he needs someone there to protect him.

 

Jensen nods at him and they both retire to the fluffy pillowed bed (which feels good to lay your head on), together.


	3. It's Nice Not to Be So Alone

  
Author's notes: You didn't think sublimesarcasm could write a story and not include all the sex did you? No plot in this chapter, just porn. :D

* * *

Jared’s floppy hair is all messed and askew as he lies on the pillow. His muscular chest is rising and falling as he breathes, and even while sleeping he looks so god damned _hot_.

 

Jensen’s noticing every moment of it, he can’t get much sleep. All he can bring himself to do is stare at Jared in amazement, hoping he’ll be alright. He wants to learn everything there is to learn about Jared Padalecki and he won’t be satisfied until he does.

 

Jared’s wearing those shorts. _Motherfuck_ Jensen thinks. Those shorts that are just a little _too_ short. They frame his ass perfectly and Jensen’s beginning to wonder how given Jared’s erection he hasn’t suffered a wardrobe malfunction.

 

Jared’s got a hard-on. 

 

And he’s _sleeping_ for Christ’s sake.

 

Jensen wonders what he’s dreaming about, it must be good because Jared has this look on his face Jensen knows all too well. A look of total pleasure, and Jensen can barely control himself.

 

Jensen chides himself, he can’t. Not yet. When Jared is ready, and not a moment before.

 

The room is silent, except for Jared. He’s breathing heavily and sweat is amassing on his forehead.

 

Everything is silent, and then it happens. 

 

“Jen...” Jared moans and Jensen is up and attending to his ward as quick as he can.

 

“Yeah Jare?” Jensen asks.

 

Jared doesn’t reply, he stares into Jensen’s face as Jensen leans in. He closes his eyes and the next thing he knows Jensen is on top of him. Jensen’s face is at his neck, licking and biting at his flesh.

 

Jared tastes so _fucking_ good. Jensen is leaving marks and bruises in his path and Jared’s not sure how he’s going to explain it to Dr. Jenkins, but right now he could care less.

 

Jensen begins licking a trail down Jared’s chest, stopping at his nipple. 

 

Jensen’s never been with someone who had a nipple piercing before, and Jared’s never experienced anything like he’s about to.

 

Jensen’s mouth latches on to Jared’s nipple ring, his tongue pulling and tugging at the cool metal. Jared is writing beneath him, because having your nipple ring sucked by Jensen Ackles feels fucking _amazing_.

 

Jensen’s apartment is air-conditioned, but you’d never know it. They’re both covered in sweat, half naked bodies rubbing and writhing together.

 

Jensen’s tongue is circling Jared’s nipple, and his wet hot mouth is just what Jared needs.

 

Jensen doesn’t want to let go, gripping Jared’s piercing between his teeth gently, driving Jared wild.

 

He doesn’t want to, but he has to. He reaches over to his bed-side table and opens the drawer and pulls out a condom and a bottle of lube.

 

There’s a flash of fear in Jared’s eyes and there’s a realization he has to come to terms with.

 

“Jen…are you sure you want to do this? I mean, I haven’t gotten my results back yet,” Jared says with a sullen look. 

 

Jensen just stares at him and growls a sexy low throated growl and pounces on Jared, pushing him down under Jensen’s weight. Jared is pretty sure he can take that as a “yes”.

 

Jensen scoots up and sits upright with his back against the headboard. It takes him all of 2 seconds to pull off his shorts and show his throbbing cock.

 

Jared makes a big show of shimmying out of his too short shorts and tosses them across the room. Jensen loves every second of it, and he can’t wait to get started.

 

Jensen slides the condom over his dick and opens the bottle, letting the slick liquid coat him entirely,

 

Jensen straightens his back against the headboard and Jared is sure he’s ready.

 

Slowly, ever so slowly Jared sits on Jensen’s cock. _Fuck_ Jensen mutters, Jared is so fucking tight and hot. Jensen loves this position and latches onto Jared’s piercing clad nipple once more. 

 

“Fuck yes,” Jared mumbles as Jensen slides deeper and deeper.

 

It takes a while, but they find their places and get a steady rhythm going. Jared writhes up and down on Jensen’s cock while Jensen has his face buried in Jared’s chest refusing to let go.

 

Jared’s head falls forward his floppy hair is sticking to his face. His ear is right in front of Jensen’s mouth and Jensen lets go of his nipple and starts whispering filth in Jared’s ear.

 

Jared’s cock is grinding between their chests and _fuck_ does it ever feel good. 

 

Jared is bouncing up and down on Jensen’s cock as he rides him for everything he’s worth. Jared’s never _really_ had sex before but Jensen reassures him he’s like an old pro. 

 

Jared’s moaning like he’s in a porn movie and his cock is leaking pre-come between their chests. Jensen pushes up and Jared can _feel_ it. Jensen is brushing against his sweet spot, and he’s never _really_ had sex before, but he knows he wants to feel it again.

 

“Fuck Jen, do that again,” Jared moans, giving Jensen sloppy wet kisses that show his appreciation.

 

Jensen pushes up again and there’s a loud scream, Jared is moaning louder than ever. The bed is shaking and the headboard won’t stop slamming into the wall behind it. Jensen _really_ hopes the sweet old couple next door aren’t home, he doesn’t want to have to explain why he kept them up all night.

 

One of Jensen’s hands is sliding down Jared’s back. Cupping his ass and the other is tangled in a mess of hair, pulling him in for a deep kiss, full of tongue.

 

Their lips finally part ways and Jensen reverts back to playing with the sore flesh of Jared’s nipple. 

 

It’s just tastes _sofuckinggood_ and Jensen can’t explain why.

 

“Love you so fucking much Jared,” Jensen pants and he has trouble believing he’s just said it, but there’s no doubt in his mind he means every word.

 

“Love you more,” Jared says with a smile, kissing Jensen’s forehead as Jensen bites and tugs away at his nipple.

 

“No way,” Jensen says.

 

“Prove it,” Jared replies with a smirk as he clutches the top of the headboard riding Jensen’s cock harder and deeper into himself.

 

Jensen has a determined look on his face. He’s going to teach this cocky bastard a lesson he won’t soon forget.

 

Jensen bites down on his lower lip and squeezes his eyes shut. With that he pants, _fucks_ , and thrusts into Jared’s tight heat.

 

That’s it.

 

Jared doesn’t even feel it coming until it happens. Jensen pushes against his prostate and his cock is spraying thick white stands of come between their chests. Jared puts his hands around Jensen’s neck, kissing him and moaning into his mouth, the two of them sharing breaths.

 

The sweat is building, the heat is rising and Jensen comes spectacularly. Deep inside his lover, shouting and moaning at the top of his breath.

 

Being inside Jared feels _fantastic_ and he doesn’t want to pull out just yet. Jared stares at him and they both kiss once more. 

 

_Now_ , Jared’s _really_ had sex, and he’s glad he did it with someone as special as Jensen.

 

There’s a slight burn as Jared gets off of Jensen’s cock but neither of them mind. Jensen takes off the condom and tosses it in the waste basket, before grabbing a towel and wiping both of them off.

 

It’s got to be at least 4 in the morning now and they’ve got a long day ahead of them. 

 

Sleep takes to them quickly and morning will be here soon.

 

Revelations are going to be made, lives are going to be changed and futures are going to become even more obscure.

 

They are lying together, wrapped in each others arms, and neither one gives a fuck.


	4. Nothing but Faith to Keep Me Warm

  
Author's notes: So this is the latest chapter, and it answers many of the questions you've probably been asking, while creating a few new ones. There are still a few aspects I feel need to be resolved in this 'verse so there'll probably be 2-3 more chapters before everything is wrapped up.

* * *

All it took was a kiss. A simple kiss laced with tongue and fleeting glances to get Jared out of his sleep.

 

“Thought you’d never get up,” Jensen said, wrapping his arm around Jared and covering his forehead in kisses.

 

The satin sheets encompassed them both and the warm feeling of Jensen’s body flush against Jared’s was surreal. It’s funny; he’d always dreamt that it would be this way. He would have a boyfriend, they would live in a chic downtown apartment and everyday he would wake up to the familiar feel of wet lips and the sheen of satin sheets. 

 

“Morning,” Jared said with a wide smile. He felt a slight burn beneath him and he realized what happened last night was real. He had sex with someone he cared for and it actually meant something. Something special. Things were looking up, now all he had to do was get through today. It was going to be a grueling day and his stomach was in knots, aching to discover the truth.

 

There was fear. That wasn’t nearly enough to describe how he was feeling. Sure he was on top of the world now. But for how long? It was only a matter of time before it would shatter, the perfect world torn and ripped to pieces. It would be last summer all over again. 

 

~*~One Summer Ago~*~

 

The night was crisp and cool. Not like you would expect in the middle of July. The wind rushed through the trees and the stars were shining high above. 

 

And what a perfect night it was. Jared was on top of the world and there was no stopping him now. Telling him anything could go wrong now would be like telling the sun not to shine or the wind not to blow, he wouldn’t hear of it.

 

Tom had walked him home after their date and kissed him goodnight. Tom made Jared swoon. And Jared Padalecki _never_ swooned. Tom had made him do a lot of things he never did before. Jared had struggled with his sexuality in a world where everyone ignored him he was finally getting some answers. Things just seemed to make _sense_ , and for once he felt comfortable in his own skin.

 

He would always fake a smile and laugh along at the fag and aids jokes with everyone else, but there was no way he could fool himself.

 

His head sunk into the fluffy couch pillows, his arms wrapped around the stuffed bear Tom had won him, eyes closed and dreaming. He could see it, the future. Maybe he would have kids someday, he’d go to college and get a good job, the simple things.

 

The front door slammed shut and Jared jolted from his position on the couch looking up.

 

The drunken rambling should have been a clue, the stumbling and sounds of feet dragging along the alabaster carpet.

 

“What are you doing up so late? Been out with that faggot friend of yours again?” Jared’s dad yelled.

 

He would always find a way to make sure Jared would never be happy, the suffering would never end. 

 

The words cut into Jared like a knife, his father destroyed his self-esteem and he would rarely stand up to him. Whenever he did he would usually end up broken and battered, left alone to brood and contemplate on the miserable existence his father had him trapped in. It was always like that, time and time again.

 

“Don’t talk about him like that!” Jared yelled in response, he couldn’t take this anymore. 

 

Tonight, things were changing.

 

“Why do you keep defending him for? I don’t want faggots here hanging around my house!” 

 

There was no explanation for what happened that night. There still isn’t. All that remains are the memories of someone whom society forgot. The night when he showed his true colors, the night when he finally felt the surge of courage coursing through his veins. Powers that laid dormant within him, and were now erupting in one great blast. 

 

“Well you’ve got one right here,” Jared replied.

 

His head was high, gaze locked on his father’s. There was not a shred of fear in his jade eyes and as he stood up straight an overwhelming sense of pride engulfed him, bolstering his resolve.

 

Silent words were exchanged in an instant and there was no mistaking the tension that would not ease.

 

“Get out,” Jared’s father yelled, sending his arm forward to punch Jared as he often would. 

 

Not this time.

 

Jared caught his father’s hand and pushed him back onto the couch, it was the first time he ever overpowered him. There was a power struggle in that house, and nobody ever talked about it, and even those fighting knew not of its existence, but when Jared saw the look on his father’s face, he knew the struggle was over. The battle was lost and won in an instant, taking with it the casualty of a father and son.

 

Jared’s father watched in shock as Jared went up to his room, grabbed his brown messenger bag with a heart stitched onto it, gathered what meager possessions he could and headed out the front door.

 

Jared didn’t look back as he walked down the perfectly manicured lawn and past the white picket gate. All he could muster was a sigh of relief and a breath of uncertainty. He walked down the dark road alone searching for whatever awaited him in his new life.

 

~*~ 

 

“Are you ready for today?” Jensen asked.

 

The fear had returned in his eyes and he held his head down. In that moment he felt Jensen’s fingers thread into his own. The tips of long slender fingers caressed his chin and made him bring his head up face to face with Jensen. 

 

His eyes were closed and when he could feel the sweet taste that was unmistakably _Jensen_ , the word stopped spinning, a cure for HIV was found and every trepidation he held inside melted away like strawberry ice-cream on a warm summer’s day.

 

“I love you, you know that?” Jared said smiling.

 

“I know,” Jensen replied gripping Jared’s hand tighter than before.

 

They both hoped it would always be like this. There would be laughing, celebrating and much hand-holding to be had. Then they would get caught up in each other, and the world itself would fade away.

 

~*~

 

“Jared Padalecki!” The nurse called from behind the counter.

 

“I’ll be right here waiting,” Jensen said kissing Jared and giving him a warm hug that comforted him.

 

“The Doctor will see you now,” She said with a smile. It was mildly reassuring. As reassured as one could get when they were about to find out something that could change the course of their life forever.

 

“Mr. Padalecki, good to see you again,” Dr. Jenkins greeted him. He seemed a little happy and _tha_ t had to be a good thing right?

 

Jared simply nodded and forced a smile trying to remain as calm and relaxed as he could. Deep inside he just wanted to run, the truth would be too much to bear.

 

“I’ve been reviewing the sample we took yesterday and it seems you’ve dodged a bullet,” Dr. Jenkins said handing Jared the computer printout. Only half of which he could make any sense of.

 

There was a feeling of relief. He got lucky. He didn’t know what he did to deserve it but couldn’t hide the excitement in his face. He would run and tell Jensen and then maybe just maybe this could be the start of a brand new life for the both of them.

 

“But how?” Jared asked.

 

“I’m not sure, you were just lucky I guess. I trust that from now on you’ll play a little safer?”

 

Jared nodded and shook his hand. 

 

Jensen was going to be so excited.

 

~*~

 

Jared walked out of the office, his head low and his shaggy straw hair covering his eyes. He sniffled and his cheeks were red and wet with fresh tears.

 

Jensen got up and walked over to him, putting one hand behind his neck, helping him to stand. Jared’s knees wobbled as he took each step, looking to Jensen as if he would fall at any moment.

 

“Shhh. Don’t cry baby, I’m here.” Jensen reassured him.

 

More tears began to fall and Jensen realized what doctor’s verdict must have been. Jared was in pain and he would give anything he owned, even his own life to make it go away. 

 

“Remember what I told you Jare? I’ll always be here, no matter what. Me and you together, forever.” Jensen said, holding Jared’s hand against his, feeling the warmth of his body.

 

“Do you really mean that?” Jared said, looking at Jensen from between his long shaggy locks.

 

Jensen nodded and kissed Jared’s cheek gently.

 

“Good, because the thing is, I’m perfectly healthy. I’m going to be fine Jen,” Jared whispered into Jensen’s ear, followed by a thunderous laugh.

 

“You bastard!” Jensen yelled into the crowded waiting room.

 

“How could you get me worried like that? I am so getting you back for that!” Jensen shrieked much to the astonishment of the nurse and the other patients in the room.

 

Jared laughed and laughed as Jensen’s cheeks turned the brightest shade of pink, grabbing his hand and slowly backing out the doorway, the eyes of everyone in the room locked on them.

 

~*~

 

“Wasn’t it a _little_ funny?” Jared asked as they walked down the long corridor towards the elevator.

 

Jensen just managed to look over at him and give a, what Jared could only begin to describe as a snarl.

 

“I need to use the washroom,” Jensen stated as Jared pushed the elevator button. 

 

“There’s an empty room over there, come with me, _please_?” Jensen begged.

 

Jared nodded and went into the empty hospital room, sitting on the edge of the bed as Jensen went to relieve himself. 

 

When Jensen came out of the washroom fully clad in a doctor’s uniform, something had to be up.

 

“What’s going on?” Jared asked in astonishment. 

 

Jared licked his lips, the uniform was downright hideous, but Jensen just made it _work_.

 

“Just a little thing I like to call payback,” Jensen said smirking to a bewildered Jared.

 

“Time for your prostate exam.”

 

~*~

 

Jared is excited and scared at the same time. Someone could walk in on them at any moment. 

 

“Jen… someone’s going to find us,” Jared whines, but when Jensen reaches in front of him to unbutton his jeans all fears are dispelled.

 

Jensen’s undoing his shirt as Jared gets into position, bent over the flimsy bed. Jensen looks so _fucking_ hot and biting his lower lip is all Jared can do to stop himself from coming everywhere.

 

Before Jared knows it his jeans and boxers are around his ankles and he’s lifting his arms up over his head so Jensen can slide his shirt off. Jared’s totally naked, and Jensen is right behind him, grinding his cock through his pants against Jared’s ass. 

 

Jensen’s cock is hard and wet, leaking through the thin fabric of his underwear. He keeps reaching down and grabbing it at the base. It’s a futile attempt to stave off what’s coming and when Jared feels Jensen’s breath on the back of his neck he’s pushing back making Jensen’s cock rub harder against the smooth flesh. 

 

Jared really hopes there aren’t any security cameras in this room, because that would just be uncomfortable. 

 

Jensen forces Jared down so his top half is laying flat on the bed. Jensen leans over and flicks his tongue along Jared’s ear, tugging on it with his teeth.

 

“You’re going to feel this for days,” Jensen breathes into Jared’s ear. Jared remembers what happened last night and if he can take that as any indication, he _is_ going to feel this for days.

 

Jensen takes a moment to take in the sight before him. Jared is fucking _naked_ sprawled out before him, and it’s taking everything he has not to just let go and start thrusting.

 

Jensen’s going to show this smug little bitch, (who by the way is the _best_ fucking kisser Jensen’s ever met) a lesson. 

 

There isn’t any lube so Jensen is going to have to make do. Jared isn’t sure what’s taking Jensen so long to get started, I mean _fuck_ just slide it in there already. He’s almost ready to turn around and tell Jensen to hurry up when an involuntary moan escapes his mouth.

 

_Fuck_. He’s not sure what that was, It takes him a second to realize it, and he feels like such a novice when it comes to sex. It’s a good thing he has Jensen there to show him _everything_ he needs to know.

 

It’s Jensen’s tongue. It’s circling Jared’s tight hole and it feels _sofuckinggood_. It’s circling and Jared isn’t too sure what to make of it, he just knows he doesn’t want Jensen to stop.

 

Jensen’s satisfied and ignores Jared’s pleas when he gets up, digging his fingers into the flesh on Jared’s hips. It’s not enough to seriously hurt him, but there will be marks, and Jared’s going to know Jensen means business.

 

Jensen’s ugly trousers drop to floor and Jared hears him spit in his hand. Jensen slicks himself up and slowly enters that tight, hot hole.

 

Jensen grunts and moans as he slides in deeper and deeper. 

 

“Feel’s so fucking good,” Jensen says as he pushes in, mindful that there’s very little lubrication.

 

_”Harder_ ,” Jared urges and Jensen has never been one to deny someone who asks so nicely. Jensen pulls back and makes a deep thrust and he’s got Jared trembling, he’s scared he might hurt the poor boy but Jared just has this look of _need_ and _want_ Jensen can’t help but satisfy it.

 

Jensen’s wanted to do this all day, ever since Jared put on those tight jeans and skimpy t-shirt. A combination that would qualify for indecent exposure in about 17 states. 

 

Jared’s ass is so tight and warm, he’s not going to last very long is he keeps up the pace he’s got going now. As soon as his thrusts start to slow he hears Jared’s sweet voice begging him not to.

 

The room is almost silent except for the obscene array of screaming, moaning and filth that’s coming out of Jared’s mouth. That, and the steady slapping of Jensen’s balls against Jared’s ass. It’s a soundtrack that’s making both of them even hornier for the other.

 

Jensen reaches forward and grasps Jared’s cock in his hot hand. He’s jerking the hard length fervently and Jared is loving the double assault on his body.

 

It happens in a split second. As soon as Jensen’s cock hit’s that spot inside Jared his cock reacts immediately spraying warm fluid onto Jensen’s hand.

 

Soon after it’s Jensen’s turn. Jensen’s chest is flush aginst Jared’s back and he’s clutching on to Jared for dear life as he comes and spurts inside Jared’s unbelievably tight heat. 

 

It’s dirtier and quicker than what either of them are used to, but the thrill of being caught wins out over reservations.

 

The small room is overwhelmed with the scent of musk and sex as they both zip zippers and button buttons. Jensen’s happy everything is going to be alright, there’s something he needs to ask Jared, but for now it can wait.

 

It's a short drive back to Jensen's apartment. Jared can't help but wiggle his toes through the carpet as soon as he gets in. This is his future now. Jensen by his side. Jared lets out a wide faced smile. He's home.


	5. Spinning Around

  
Author's notes: The secret Jensen has been carrying is finally revealed, and combined with the return of someone Jared once knew it threatens to destroy them both.

Jared/Other  
Non-Con  
Rape

P.S. I really want to finish this story, it's been too long. :)  


* * *

_Tell him_. _Tell him you fucking coward_. Jensen’s mind pressured as he looked at his young lover peacefully asleep. It had been bugging him for a while now. 

 

Yeah, they had actually said it before, but was that just the passion of the moment, or had they actually meant it? Neither one had mentioned anything about it ever since, and it had eaten away at Jensen’s mind ferociously.

 

Jared awoke to the gentle stroking of his hair by Jensen and promptly rewarded him with a good morning kiss. Jared waddled out of bed – still understandably sore from last night’s events. 

 

“I’m…going to make some coffee,” Jared said with a yawn. “Want some?”

 

Jensen nodded and watched in silence as Jared’s tanned naked figure, shuffled, somewhat painfully out the bedroom door. Surprisingly half a bottle of KY was emptied that night and Jensen chuckled to himself. 

 

“We’ll need to buy some more lube soon Jay!” Jensen yelled with a smile, reflecting on the last 3 weeks. 

 

Jared Padalecki was the best thing to ever happen to him. He was smiling more often, happier and he was actually eating now. Jared could never tell by looking, and Jensen would never admit that much like Jared, he had his problems and his own way of dealing with them. 

 

~*~

 

It was 3 surprisingly long weeks in which much had happened. Jared had moved into to Jensen’s apartment and had gotten a modest job working at the 4th avenue department store, _Zak’s_. The two had become inseparable. Jensen, who had never used his own kitchen to make anything other than coffee and Kraft dinner, was delighted when he would come home to the smell of roasted chicken and potatoes Jared had made them. 

 

“Where’d you learn to cook like that?” Jensen asked.

 

“I knew someone once, taught me everything I know in the kitchen,” Jared replied.

 

Jared hadn’t quite revealed the truth about Tom to Jensen, or fully divulged the events of last summer but he hoped history would not repeat itself.

 

~*~One Summer Ago~*~

 

“Needs more cilantro,” Tom chimed as he stirred the pasta, taking a little taste of the sauce Jared helped prepare. 

 

Jared promptly chopped the leaves and poured them into the sauce before kissing Tom on the lips. 

 

“You’re special you know that,” Jared said with a smile, wrapping his arms around Tom’s waist and plastering his neck with wet kisses. 

 

Tom’s hands slipped into Jared’s back pockets, groping and grabbing his ass. Tom felt the pills slip through his fingers and immediately pushed Jared back.

 

“What’s the matter?” Jared asked, surprised at Tom’s actions. 

 

“This is the matter,” Tom said, holding up the jagged little pill for Jared to see.

 

“I can’t believe you’re doing this shit again,” Tom yelled.

 

“It’s Michael again isn’t it?” Tom continued. “How could you do this to me again Jared, I trusted you…” Tom trailed. 

 

There was silence throughout the kitchen. Jared said not a word and hung his head in shame. Michael had done it again; he’d managed to disillusion him so much he couldn’t see what he would be losing in the process. He silently climbed the stairs and entered the bathroom. 

 

He managed to wash his face and flush the remaining pills down the toilet. He had really fucked up this time. It wasn’t clear to him why he kept going back to Michael, or the constant drugs but it was more apparent than ever he was willing to choose Tom over either of them. 

 

The smell of smoke alarmed him and he raced down the stairs as fast as he could. The front door was wide open and the cold wind that blew inside shook Jared to his core. 

 

Slowly he walked towards the kitchen, finding Tom in a pool of his own blood. Standing beside him was Michael, hands bloody and stained. 

 

“Hey Jare,” Michael said casually as tears began to stream down Jared’s face. 

 

“C’mon don’t cry.” Michael said with a smile. “Could be worse, could have been you down there choking on your own blood rather than him,” Michael said with a gruesome smirk.

 

“And it will be if you don’t do as I say,” Michael continued. “I tried to warn you Jay,” Michael said as he walked closer to Jared before punching him in the stomach.

 

“I took care of you and this is how you repay me?” Michael yelled landing another punch, this time in Jared’s face.

 

Jared looked down at Tom’s lifeless body once more, he regretted meeting Michael, and wished he could go back and stop himself from the drugs and the life Michael had forced him to live. The damage had been done; the pain and misery had been unleashed. Tom was the victim, and Michael had robbed him of the only man whom ever cared for him.

 

~*~

 

It was Jared’s day off and he decided he would make an extra special meal for Jensen that night. 

 

The meal was prepared, and Jared decided to go all out. He lit several candles, lilac --Jensen’s favorite scent-- and waited for the love of his life to return.

 

The phone began to ring. He didn’t know then his old life would be on a crash course with his new one. But then again, how could he?

 

“You think you’re fucking fooling anybody Padalecki?” The voice said.

 

“Who…who is this?” Jared questioned.

 

“You think you could just go out and meet some guy and live happily ever after?” 

 

“You do remember what happened to Tom don’t you?” It threatened.

 

 

A little piece of Jared died with every step he took. He was so scared things would never change. The note he left was concise in all regards. He was leaving to make sure what happened that night one summer ago would never happen again. Jensen was too good, too _special_ to have such a fate forced upon him. 

 

With much despair and reservation, the note signed _never coming back_ was written and left to rest on the table with care. He could keep trying, but things would never change. It was his sole wish that it didn’t have to be this way. For him, wishes rarely ever came true. 

 

The door closed as Jared’s forehead came to rest upon it. The memories of what seemed like a million nights, smiles, kisses and hugs surged through him, as he made a futile attempt to suppress the tears that were soon to come. With a wipe of his cheek, he carefully locked the door, headed down the hallway and with every ounce of strength he could muster, refused to look back.

 

On the surface it would appear that Jensen showed up miraculously that night at the club to save Jared, but in truth Jared Padalecki had saved Jensen in more ways than he would ever know. 

 

~*~

 

“Would it make you happy baby?” Jared asked, his eyes glinting with pain.

 

Michael nodded as he ripped Jared’s shirt open, revealing the muscled figure whose serene glow had faded and returned to the pale, pasty hue Jared had become accustomed to.

 

With a slip of his fingers Michael's jeans were undone. Michael could care less about the hurt in Jared's eyes as he forced himself further upon him, the cries of agony or the obvious resistance. Empathy was the last thing he knew about or cared for as he took what he wanted from Jared.

 

The coarse screaming of "stop" and "please, don't" fell on deaf ears. There was no one around to save him, no one to care for him. Jared was just an object Michael used when he felt like it and tossed aside when he was finished.

 

The sounds of muffled screams, groans and pleas filled the room. It hurt like hell and Michael knew it. 

 

It was over in minutes, but the pain lasted much longer. Jared had fallen. Not once, but twice. Back into the bottom rung of society and a life of misery.

 

The pain, blood and terror he was constantly subject to did little to weaken his resolve. It sounded strange, but as long as did what Michael wanted Jensen would be safe. Jensen would live a normal life, find a normal lover and would never be subject to the hell Jared went through. 

 

Michael left him alone in the decrepit apartment Jared was now seemingly a prisoner of. Only allowed out when Michael allowed him to. He never tried to escape of course; Michael had made it clear what would happen if he did.

 

~*~

 

It was hours before Michael returned. Drunk and abusive as he ever would be. 

 

“You’re mine now,” Michael taunted.

 

Jared flipped him the finger and Michael promptly slapped him as hard as he could. 

 

Michael would always leave a hypodermic around, perhaps in his sick and twisted mind as payment for the things he made Jared do. 

 

He didn’t go back to the drugs this time, something in him resisted. Perhaps it was blind faith in the idea he would someday get out and be with Jensen. He didn’t know why, but he did know that he wouldn’t be able to stand the sight of himself in the mirror if things went back to the way they used to be. 

 

His body was scarred and broken more and more with each passing day. Michael’s friends teased and taunted him when they came over. When he refused to have sex with Michael, it just made him angrier. He was submerged back into a world he had fought tooth and nail to climb out of, only to be dragged back in chains. He found solace only in the fact that Jensen would be safe.

 

 

As long as Jensen was safe, that was all that mattered. 

 

~*~

 

It had been a month since he last saw Jensen, a month since he kissed the tender pink lips that belonged to the most wonderful person in the world. It had been 31 long days since his fingers grasped Jensen's short hair, pulling him in for a passionate kiss, running his tongue over the soft skin of Jensen's neck and he couldn't help but miss the smell and taste that was pure, unadulterated _Jensen_.

 

_I just need to see him_ Jared thought. It was a complete and utter lie. Jared needed to do more than just see Jensen, but what was the alternative?

 

Jared managed to pick himself up off the bed, putting on a pair of underwear, jeans and a dirty t-shirt determined to get a glimpse. Something that might somehow help him to resist the urge to put an end to his miserable existence once and for all. He figured Jensen had probably found someone else by now, hating him for walking out of his life with something as impersonal as a note. 

 

He'd only be gone for an hour or two. Michael would never know.

 

He looked like a total stranger in the upscale neighborhood where Jensen's apartment was. A complete outsider. The story of Jared's life. There weren't many places Jared fit in, except maybe underneath Jensen, and on top of Jensen and _behind_ Jensen, but Jared refused to think about it. The idea that he would never be that close making his stomach turn.

 

He made sure to wait out of sight, Jensen would be home from work soon and he'd see him be his usual goofy self probably dropping and fumbling with the 100 keys he always carried with him. It was the little things like that which made Jared that much more in love with Jensen, and though at the time they seemed insignificant, he would do anything to experience them again.

 

His heart skipped a beat when he saw the familiar truck drive up. Though he had seen that truck a thousand times before, he knew something was different. The figure that emerged was not the Jensen he remembered. Jensen was always smaller than him but now looking upon him, the slim, shrunken figure seemed distant and unfamiliar. His usual cheery disposition was gone and he looked as if he carried the weight of the world upon his shoulders. 

 

Without a second look, from the pain built up in Jensen’s face, it was all to apparent he had been hurt by someone he cared for greatly. Jared knew that someone was him. 

 

It was a no win situation. If he went back to Jensen, Michael would do something horrible to both of them and if he didn’t Jensen would waste away. It was a pain Jared couldn’t bare to see Jensen carry. 

 

He followed Jensen back to his apartment. Remembering Jensen always kept a spare key under the mat. Jared turned the key, pushing the door slightly and walking inside.

 

Every instinct told him this was the wrong thing to do. He was going to get them both killed. The image of the man Jensen had become flashed through his mind and he couldn’t stop until he made sure everything was alright.

 

He entered the familiar hallway and stepped carefully; following the traces of discarded clothing Jensen must have dropped on the way to the bedroom. The door creaked open and Jensen’s head tilted up off its resting place. The sight of Jared brought tears to his eyes. Neither one said a single word as Jared carefully made his way over to the bed and rested Jensen’s head on his chest. 

 

There was no exchange of words. No “I’m Sorry Jensen” or “I missed you Jared”. There was no need for words when the looks of _need_ and _want_ they exchanged said everything they could ever want to say, and more. 

 

In the shadow of the bedroom door, upon the luxurious silk-satin sheets, they remained, cradled in each other arms as they wept.


	6. Where The Sun Shines

The morning sun had crept upon them, vanquishing visions of days gone by, and back into reality. Minutes had turned to hours, tears to quiet sobs. Neither one was willing to move from the sweet escape that laying in the other’s arms provided them. 

 

Jensen basked in Jared’s warm, soft, comforting breath. He had missed it, and through many cold nights lying alone in his room as his body and spirit wasted away, he longed for it. 

 

Jared couldn’t help but stare at the slim, shrunken figure Jensen had transformed into. It hurt him to see Jensen this way. This wasn’t the Jensen he knew and it occurred to him everyone had a past that haunted them. 

 

The dark room held many memories within it, and kept secrets even Jared did not know. Night had turned to day and neither one had so much as budged an inch.

 

“Why?” Jensen started, his hoarse voice too weak to finish the sentence. He didn’t need to. _Why did you leave me? Why couldn’t you tell me where to find you? Why did you feel the need to run?_ Jared thought. 

 

The simple ‘why’ had, in its own way posed a thousand questions at once. Questions Jared didn’t know how to or even if he should answer.

 

“I’ve been here too long,” Jared simply replied. Michael would be freaking by now and Jared would have hell to pay once he returned. He tried to get up, heading for the door when he felt the thin, bony grip upon his arm, unwilling to let him go a second time.

 

“Please don’t leave me Jare,” Jensen weakly mumbled. Their eyes met and Jared fought to look away. Staring into that face… he couldn’t bear it. If he let himself get caught up he’d never leave. 

 

“Let go of me,” Jared fired back. He turned and made a dash for the door when the words struck him like a shot in the back.

 

“I thought you cared Jay,” Jensen spoke softly, his weakened state apparent in the tone of his voice.

 

“Cared about you?” Jared said with a fake laugh. “You were just an easy fuck, someone with their guard down who would help me,” he continued to lie. 

 

“Don’t you dare fucking bullshit me Jared,” Jensen replied with a stern glare fixated upon Jared.

 

“Nobody who doesn’t care spends the whole fucking night,” Jensen yelled.

 

“You’re not fooling anyone Jared, especially not me,” Jensen finally said, his gaze unwavering and steadfast.

 

It was confession time. It was the power of secrets that got him into this position in the first place and only the truth would clear the tangled web he had created. 

 

“There was someone…a long time ago,” Jared began to speak, the hesitation and pain evident in his quivering voice. Revisiting the past took a heavier toll than he could have ever imagined but what did he have to lose?

 

“My…boyfriend, his name was Tom and I got him killed. I killed him Jensen!” Jared yelled tears streaming down his pale white cheeks.

 

“I held him in my arms, soaked in his blood as I felt his life slip away,” Jared continued. 

 

“Have you ever had that feeling Jen?” Jared questioned. “Having the person you love more than anything else in the entire world dying right in front of you and there’s not a fucking thing you can do to stop it?”

 

“I killed him Jensen, and I couldn’t bear for the same thing to happen to you,” Jared said with labored breath, the horrid realization sinking in. Jensen’s silence did not help matters, and as the hushed moments continued, Jared felt a release. His thoughts were cleared and soon the burden seemed a lot lighter.

 

“I don’t believe it,” Jensen said. 

 

“You couldn’t have killed anyone, I don’t believe it Jay,” Jensen continued. He knew deep within himself Jared was capable of many things but murder was not one of them. 

 

“It’s true,” Jared said. “It’s a long story…but I let myself get caught up in a horrible life, filled with drugs and misery. I couldn’t control myself and Michael –.”

 

“Michael?” Jensen interrupted. “Michael Rosenbaum? What does he have to do with this?” Jensen questioned.

 

“You know him?” Jared said meekly. It had never occurred to him that Jensen was at the club all those weeks ago and it was possible he had run into Michael a few times. 

 

There was a long pause. Sam knew then there were more than a few brief encounters between Michael and Jensen, and by the look in Jensen’s face something deeply troubling had occurred between them. 

 

“I knew him a while back,” Jensen finally spoke. He held up his arm. “He’s the reason I’m like this.”

 

“He demoralized me…made me feel like I was nothing. He knew I had no money of my own and he starved me saying I deserved it,” Jensen said with a heavy heart. 

 

“I finally got out of there, finished high school and went to college,” Jensen reminisced, “But as you can see, old habits die hard.”

 

“Jen…I’m so sorry I didn’t know,” Jared pleaded, finally moving from his place beside the doorway and giving Jensen a much needed and comforting hug. 

 

“Michael he threatened me…he said that if I stayed with you he would kill you just like Tom and I –.”

 

Jensen cut him off once more, putting a single finger on his lips. “It’s okay,” Jensen reassured him. Jensen stared into Jared’s face. He still had those soft, pink lips he remembered. With a tilt of Jared’s head the soft pink lips were pressed against his in a tight embrace. 

 

The taste of Jared’s lips overwhelmed him. God, how he had missed that. Jared had toppled them over onto the bed. Their lips remained unrelenting, their chests pressed firmly against the other, two hearts, beating together. 

 

Jensen reached up and began to slip Jared’s t-shirt over his head when Jared remembered. 

 

“Don’t you want to?” Jensen asked.

 

_Hell yes I want to_ Jared thought. The feelings had come back in a wave. He had really missed this. Nothing compared to Jensen’s warm touch, nothing could even hold a flame to Jensen’s sweet scent. There was nothing, no one who made Jared feel the things Jensen could, but Michael would know he was gone by now. 

 

“I need to go…Michael…” Jared said with a sigh. 

 

There was a noise from down the hall that startled them both. A shadow crept across the wall, cast by an unidentified person who was heading straight towards the bedroom.

 

Jared’s hand clasped Jensen’s and refused to let go. He didn’t need to see a face, he knew who had come and he swallowed hard, the intense fear building in him as the distant footsteps drew closer and closer.

 

“Chad?”

 

~*~

 

The bright sunlight had dispersed the shadows and his familiar face became clear in Jared’s sight. It was reassuring to see his old friend again, they often went weeks without seeing each other but he hadn’t seen Chad since the incident at the club and seeing him now posed more questions than answers. 

 

“You know this guy Jay?” Jensen asked, slightly surprised at the strangers presence in his home. 

 

Jared nodded and took a long look at Chad. He didn’t notice it immediately, but his alabaster skin was marred with scars and bruises.

 

Chad broke his silence abruptly by moving over to Jared and hugging him tightly. It was an odd thing for him to do as in all the years Jared knew Chad hugging or even showing any sort of emotion at all was something Chad just did not do. 

 

“Jared,” Chad spoke. “I’m sorry,” he continued.

 

Jared calmly reassured him and tried to calm him down from the hysteric state he was descending into. 

 

“I’m sorry I took you to that place…I heard what happened,” he pleaded. 

 

“It’s okay, you didn’t know,” Jared said holding him tightly, he was trembling and Jared knew there was something deeper for Chad to have followed him here. 

 

“Chad?” Jensen asked as Chad raised his head slowly out of Jared’s lap.

 

“Is something wrong? Is it Michael?” Jensen asked nervously, he had hoped Jared would not sense the fear in his voice. 

 

“He knows,” Chad replied. “He knows Jared is here and he’s going to come after you two. You need to get out of here,” Chad said ominously. 

 

“I ran into him and he did this to me to send you a message,” Chad said, holding his bruised and battered face in his hands. 

 

“No,” Jensen said. Jensen wasn’t sure where that reply had come from and at first it seemed like an involuntary response to ease the apparent fear he could see in Jared’s eyes, but he knew he meant it. 

 

“No more running,” Jensen said sharply. “All three of us, we’ve run from that bastard for so long. He’s taken advantage and ruined our lives. No matter where we run he’ll find us and keep doing it.” Jensen said as the two younger men listened intently. 

 

“Jen…I can’t,” Jared said looking down. “He’s stronger than me and I don’t know…” he trailed off without completing his sentence.

 

“Don’t worry,” Jensen said. “You’re not alone this time. You have Chad and me and we’re not going to let anything happen to you, understand?”

 

Jared nodded and kissed Jensen softly on his lips. 

“How are we going to stop him? Where do we even find him?” Chad asked.

 

Jensen wasn’t sure how to answer Chad’s questions but he knew finding Michael wouldn’t be a problem. He had obviously been keeping tabs on Jensen since he escaped all those years ago, but why he didn’t act sooner still bothered him. 

 

 

“He’ll be here, he knows Jared would come to see me,” Jensen said.

 

“He won’t come to this part of the city,” Chad said. “It’s too risky for him alone, if you’re planning on bringing him back here someone has to lead him back and it has to be me,” Chad said with a slight grin. Jared always knew Chad was a crazy bastard, but to risk his life like that for both him and Jensen made him appreciate his old friend in a new way. 

 

~*~

 

It had been three hours since Chad left the apartment and both Jared and Jensen began to worry. They were both sure Chad was smart, but the uneasiness of the situation had begun to set it. 

 

The 'plan' had to be the most convoluted thing Jensen had ever come up with but if they ambushed Michael once Chad led him back to the apartment, there was at least a chance to end his control over all of their lives once and for all. 

 

The air was hot throughout the apartment and there was no comforting summer breeze blowing through the bedroom window and as they waited for the gentle turning of the doorknob. 

 

"I want you to stay in the bedroom, understand?" Jensen said, more like commanded Jared. 

 

"I'm not letting you go out there alone," Jared fired back. 

 

"I'm going to be fine, please Jared, I just don't want you to get hurt," Jensen said softly, cupping Jared's face and kissing him. 

 

The gentle turning of the doorknob had sent his heart racing, and he prayed that the kiss would not be his last.

 

Chad had taken his position at the door, planning to stop Michael if he attempted to run. 

 

Michael's heavy footsteps echoes down the hallway as he approached the bedroom door. 

 

"I know you're in here Jenny boy," Michael taunted. "I haven't forgotten how you repaid me for saving you, or your little whore," Michael continued as he slowly traced a path down the long corridor. 

 

Jensen clenched his fist. It killed him to think of the torture Michael put Jared through and it ignited a thirst for vengeance that dispelled his fears. 

 

Looking through the tiny crease of the door Jensen saw Chad nod, giving him the signal and with the little strength he could muster delivered a swift punch that connected with Michael's face, knocking him to the ground.

 

Michael reeled from the punch, reaching into his coat pocket to draw his gun. Jensen immediately fought him for it and tried to wrestle the gun from his clutches. 

 

The ordeal began and ended in what seemed like an instant. A loud and audible gunshot rang throughout the bitter reaches of the apartment. There was the warm rush of blood as the fates of the four present were irrecoverably and eternally altered.


	7. The Better Part of Me

  
Author's notes: This is _not_ the last chapter in the 'verse! There is still one more thing I feel needs to be addressed and as such chapter 8 will conclude the 'Fallen' storyline. I hope you all enjoy reading and thank you all for the wonderful comments and support you have given me. I truly appreciate and take to heart every comment made.

* * *

The sound of the gunfire had shaken them all. Jared’s heart leapt in his stomach as the worst possible thoughts swept through his mind. He closed his eyes as Jensen collapsed onto the floor, stained and covered in blood.

 

It was just like one summer ago. History had repeated itself and this time had claimed the life of his new love, Jensen Ackles. He ran over to Jensen’s still body that was motionless next to Michael’s and held him in his arms. 

 

The familiar scene had haunted him. It came back in a rush that left him with the urge to vomit but nothing inside him to purge. He remembered holding Tom, the pool of blood and watching the bright light of someone who had so much to offer flicker out, leaving him to brave the horrors of the world alone, lost and consumed in the darkness. 

 

“Jen…no, you can’t be gone. Jensen, don’t leave me!” He yelled, holding onto Jensen’s shoulders and shaking him as Chad stared in horror. 

 

The words seemed bitter and hollow. He knew his pleas had fallen on deaf ears; it simply wasn’t rational. His sense of rationality had seemingly died alongside Jensen, and he knew after losing Jensen the rest of him, mind body and soul would soon falter. 

“Jensen please baby _please_ come back to me,” Jared begged and made futile attempts to bring Jensen back. 

 

The sorrow and pain in his voice was overwhelming. He had lost his lover, best friend and savior in an instant. A second, an insignificant passage of time that both he and Jensen had spent countless times locked in each other’s arms, lips refusing to relent. 

 

A mere second in time had drastically altered the course of his life forever. ‘

 

More tears began to stream and more sobs were heard throughout the entire building. 

 

None of those who heard the screams and lamenting wails would question him, for a man who had lost the single most important person in his life, a man who had witnessed his soul mate violently ripped from the living world deserved his time to grieve. 

 

In his haste he had forgotten. It was the love that he shared that blinded him, consumed him, and made him care only for the well being of his beloved that deceived him. The feeling of a fragment of his soul being shredded and torn away had numbed his senses and made him vulnerable to the worst. 

 

“Jared?” 

 

The voice was soft and faint, but unmistakable. He held Jensen close and realized he was not wounded. The blood that stained his shirt was Michael’s, who now remained dead on the ground. In some ways a well deserved death, in a form as gruesome as he had subjected so many of those that went before him. 

 

“Jensen!” Jared yelled, hugging him and trying to understand what had happened. The tears did not cease to flow, and in truth his tears of joy exceeded the tears of sorrow.

 

“I thought I lost you,” Jared said slowly, holding Jensen closer refusing to ever let go. 

 

Relief did not even begin to describe the feelings that intensified within the shattered regions of his broken heart. Jensen was okay and that was all that mattered.

 

“I promised I’d keep you safe didn’t I?” Jensen said with a soft smile as Chad made his way over to help Jensen up.

 

“It’s finally over,” Chad said staring at Michael’s lifeless body. Death had taken him down a notch, several in fact. He was no longer the tyrant brutally controlling the lives of those he came into contact with. His intimidating stare had been reduced to nothing and to those who looked upon him it was apparent the great equalizer had indeed reduced his power greatly. 

 

“That was for everything you’ve ever put us through you son of a bitch,” Jensen said, wrapping his arm around Jared’s waist and holding him closer, refusing to let go. The nightmare had ended, but something deep inside him urged him to hang on and never to let go.

 

The time spent apart had nearly killed Jensen and Jared would not allow it to happen again. 

 

They both quickly expressed feelings of love and respite in their subtle and (not so) subtle caresses. Their paths had crossed all those many weeks ago and after the day's events, it was apparent they would forever be intertwined. 

 

Jensen had come so close to death and as Jared helped him wash the blood off his hands they both remained thankful to whatever or whoever that was looking out for them. 

 

~*~

 

As the sounds of sirens drew closer there was a feeling of relief. Chad had called the police while Jensen washed himself up. Even though he had done what needed to be done, Jensen was still shaken by the events.

 

A detective Kripke had questioned them, collecting their statements. Turns out Michael was wanted by the police for murder, kidnapping and a slew of other charges. 

 

“Excuse me, I’m sorry I can see you’re both upset,” Detective Kripke said. “But I need you to tell me what happened,” He finally spoke.

 

Jensen bit his lip as he painfully remembered the horrific event that had just occurred. As painful as it was, he realized he would need to talk about it now if he ever expected to put it behind him.

 

“Michael…he barged in here. He came here looking for Jared and when I confronted him…he pulled the gun…,” Jensen said before he broke down, tears streaming down his face. 

 

“It’s okay Jen, it’s okay,” Jared said rubbing circles on Jensen’s back constantly trying his best to reassure him. 

 

“I tried to wrestle it from him and we fought for it,” Jensen said before taking a slight pause to collect himself. 

 

“When I first felt the warm liquid, I thought I had pissed myself with fear,” He said slowly. “But it was blood, Michael’s blood.”

 

Detective Kripke nodded and recorded Jensen’s statement on his small notepad. 

 

“Next thing I knew, I collapsed onto the floor because I had used all my strength to take the gun and Michael was dead,” He finally said, his words resonating throughout the ears of Jared and the detective. It had become apparent that even though Jensen had saved all of their lives, he had still taken the life of another and it caused him great distress.

 

Nobody deserved to die more than Michael, but extinguishing a human life no matter what its form had dire consequences that Jared knew would take a very long time to get over. 

 

“Thanks Jensen,” Detective Kripke said jotting the last few words down. “You’re a hero, you saved your boyfriend and your friend’s life,” He said pointing to Chad who was deep in conversation with another detective.

 

“I’ll be in touch,” The detective said with a handshake, leaving a trembling Jensen in Jared’s arms.

 

“Look at me Jensen,” Jared said. “What happened, it’s not your fault. You didn’t mean to shoot him the gun just went off,” He said hugging Jensen tightly as he tried to steady him.

 

Jared linked his fingers with Jensen's and kissed him softly on the lips.

 

“You saved me Jensen, again. You risked your life for me and I don’t know how to even begin to thank you for everything you’ve done for me,” Jared said as he stared in Jensen’s deep green eyes.

 

Jensen had shifted slightly, listening to Jared’s words as he continued to speak. 

 

“Meeting you Jensen, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you so much and I don’t ever want to leave you again,” Jared said, beaming as he continued to stare at Jensen.

 

Jensen had shared his sentiment. Meeting Jared was the best thing that happened to him as well, and God knows if he hadn’t discovered him all those weeks ago they would both be dead by now. The serendipitous meeting had in some ways saved both of them, and had developed within them a bond that refused to be broken. 

 

"C'mon Jay, you know I'm really not one for all this talking it out bullshit," Jensen said with a small laugh that Jared reciprocated. 

 

"But...do you really mean that?" Jensen said once more, looking at Jared earnestly. He knew the words had been spoken with good intentions but he still needed to know for sure.

 

Jared nodded and cupped Jensen’s cheek. Their faces clashed together in such passion, it had confirmed the unspoken oath. Jensen smiled on the inside as he felt the wet tongue sweep across his mouth and lips. It was real, and the nightmares of the past were over. 

 

“Get a room,” Chad said jokingly before they both realized they were practically devouring each other’s faces in the middle of a crime scene surrounded by police and other personnel.

 

“How about we get something to eat?” Chad said. “I’m starving, and lover boy over there is starting to look like Calista Flockhart.”

 

They both laughed before Jared playfully smacked Chad on the head. “That’s my boyfriend you’re talking about,” Jared said with a smile and together the three of them walked down the long corridor, Jared and Jensen locked hand in hand bound with a feeling of need for the other and armed with the spirit of knowing that a future of endless possibilities, together, awaited them on the long road ahead.

 

~*~

 

They had reached the parking lot abruptly and got into Jensen’s truck. It was an odd thing for someone living in that part of the city to drive a truck but Jared had never questioned him. 

 

There were subtle looks between them as they simply enjoyed each other’s presence. The separation had taken a much larger toll than either of them could have expected, and just being together now felt like a little piece of heaven.

 

Chad had spoken not a word; he could almost feel the connection between the two men and knew better than to interfere. After all they had gone through, they deserved a little peace.

 

A short ride later they had arrived at a small restaurant. Jensen always came here; he had just never had anyone to share it with and with his friends beside him he knew now was as good a time as any.

 

“Chad can you go in and tell them to hold a table for three?” Jensen asked.

 

Chad nodded and scurried out of the truck, it was obvious there were things between Jared and Jensen that needed to be discussed in private and he wanted nothing more than what was best for his friend. 

 

“Jared…I…,” Jensen said slowly once Chad was out of sight. “I’ve been meaning to tell you something for a long time now, even before you left,” Jensen said slowly. He had never really done the whole “romance thing” before and actually putting his thoughts into words proved more difficult than he imagined. 

 

In Jared’s mind, Jensen had said all he needed to say. His signs of affection and _hell_ , saving his life twice had proved to be more than enough. Still, he knew this was what Jensen wanted and would not interrupt.

 

“I tried telling you before, but now I’m just going to say it…I love you Jared.” He said finally.

 

“I guess, in some ways I always have, since I first met you, and I just want you to know I really mean it. I’m not saying it just to get you into bed or anything like that,” Jensen said slowly.

 

“Shit Jen, I think saving my life twice kinda rules that theory out.” Jared said with a slight smile.

 

“I just want you to know, I love you too, more than you’ll ever know,” Jared said softly, tilting his head back as Jensen moved in for a kiss. 

 

Jensen’s tongue traced his soft tender lips before entering his warm mouth. Their lips were pressed firmly against each other as the heat of their bodies and hearts beating in unison drove them to continue. Soft hot lips fought against each other as their tongues battled for dominance, each unrelenting and carefree. 

 

They broke apart only at the sound of loud car horn that surprised them. Two girls, one with blonde hair and the other a brunette parked opposite them, clapped and cheered them on, obviously impressed by the show they had put on. The girls both flashed them a thumbs-up sign and the biggest smiles either of them had ever seen. 

 

Jared and Jensen both flashed sheepish grins; cheeks ablaze with red, slightly embarrassed that they had let themselves get so caught up in the moment. Deep down though, both of them had enjoyed the attention. They had both figured Chad would be pissed and waiting for them inside by now. 

 

They both smiled as they walked hand in hand into the lavish restaurant, making sure _everybody_ saw that they were together.

 

“Fuck you _Jeeves_!” Chad yelled at the stocky maître d’.

 

“I said I want a table for three, so fucking waltz on in there and get me one,” Chad continued to yell. He was never known for tact.

 

“I’m sorry sir but we don’t serve your kind in here, and I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” the maître d’ responded, pointing to the door.

 

“Is there a problem here?” Jensen asked politely, confused at all the commotion. 

 

“Mr. Ackles,” The maître d’ said cheerfully. “Glad to have you dine with us again.”

 

“Were you about to turn my friend Chad here away?” Jensen asked with a smirk. 

 

“No – no, sir. I didn’t think he was with you,” The man said nervously.

 

“That’s right you didn’t think. You wouldn’t want Sandra to hear about this now would you?”

 

“No sir, table for three right this way,” The man said, as Chad turned around and flashed him the finger. 

 

Jared laughed and smiled at Jensen. Knowing the right people came in handy, and Chad might’ve been an ass, but he didn’t deserve to be treated like that.

 

In lives filled with death, drugs, rape and disorder, there was nothing they could do but celebrate. Celebrate the love, celebrate the friendship and celebrate the victory that had achieved.

 

They were sort of like family at the table. None had good memories of their families, but as they drank, joked and laughed they proved sometimes the best family isn’t the one you’re born into -- it’s the one you make for yourself.


	8. Catharsis

  
Author's notes: So here we are. The final chapter! It's been such a blast writing this story and I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart who favorited, commented and helped me along the way. Your words truly are inspirational and appreciated. I spent a lot of time coming up with a title for this chapter and decided to name it "Catharsis" because that's really what this chapter is about. Once again thank you all so so much and thank you for reading!

* * *

Jared stirred in the large bed he now shared with Jensen. He was half awake and half asleep. The warm feeling of Jensen’s naked body against his made him feel safe as a cool breeze swept through the open window beside the bed. Well, _almost_ naked, Jensen still had on those pesky boxers. 

 

Jared wasn’t quite sure why Jensen always wore them. Someone that hot shouldn’t be confined to the cotton prison that was underwear. 

 

Jensen’s chest rose up and down as he slept. His gentle snoring made Jared giggle as he cuddled up closer to his body for more warmth. Jared peered around the empty room, the half empty boxes that littered the floor and the unappealing paisley wallpaper. 

 

He put one leg out of the side of the bed hoping to get up and make a cup of coffee. _Fuck_ he thought, remembering that the coffee maker was still buried under God knows how many piles of boxes. 

 

They had both moved into a bigger apartment. After the incident with Michael they both agreed there was no way either one could stand to live in the apartment where their lives almost ended. 

 

Jared cursed silently. You’d think one of the first things they would unpack would be the coffeemaker seeing as how both he and Jensen were coffee fiends. But no, Jensen just _had_ to fuck him into the floor as soon as they got inside. Didn’t even wait for Jared to put the box he was carrying down, Christ, didn’t even wait for the movers to leave, just took him hard and fast on the lush white carpet of their soon-to-be bedroom with the two burly moving men just feet away. 

 

That’s what a month apart will do, he thought. Jensen’s boxer-briefs were beginning to ride dangerously low and Jared couldn’t help but take notice. 

 

He took in the sight before him as Jensen’s abs slowly went up and down with his rhythmic breathing. What on earth had he done to deserve this? He didn’t quite know but he was sure he would never let it go again. 

 

“Mmm,” Jensen moaned in his sleep. Jared watched silently as Jensen’s dick grew in his too-tight-too-short underwear. _Holy hell_ , Jared thought with a smirk as he continued to watch Jensen writhe and squirm on the bed. 

 

Slowly, Jared’s hand made it to the elastic waist of Jensen’s underwear (which he swore Jensen would never be allowed to wear in his presence again, _ever_ ) and slowly pulled them down Jensen’s hips. Jensen let out a soft moan, still deep in the throes of sleep and apparently one hell of a dream. 

 

Jared licked his lips at the sight of Jensen’s aching hardon. He stared at it, blood-red and rock hard. If anything was stopping him at that point Jensen’s soft moans and cries sure got rid of them. 

 

Jared slowly moved his head down, tasting Jensen for the first time in a long time and the familiar taste of salt and flesh comes rushing back. Jared tastes the pre-cum dripping from the tip and feels himself growing as hard as ever, tugging and pulling at his own crotch struggling for any type of relief or friction against his aching cock. 

 

“Fuck,” Comes an audible mutter and Jared is pretty sure Jensen is awake. Jensen tries his best to tangle his fingers in Jared’s thick and floppy hair, urging his head down faster on his cock. Jared doesn’t mind, and loves every second of it. Every moan and every filthy word that escapes Jensen’s sweet lips is reward enough. 

 

By now Jensen’s begging for it. He knows he doesn’t have to, but at the same time his pleas are driving Jared wild and the more he begs the deeper his cock slips down Jared’s warm, wet, inviting mouth. He bucks up slowly, causing Jared to gag a little. 

 

“Sorry,” Jensen says in a low, sexy voice that makes Jared forgive him a thousand times over. Jensen props himself up on his elbows as Jared straddles his legs and buries his face in Jensen’s crotch once more. 

 

A slight tug from Jensen lets Jared know Jensen isn’t really that fond of Jared wearing underwear either, and they need to come off, _now_. He pauses only for a second, sliding the come soaked piece of fabric down past hiss ass, off his legs and onto the floor. 

 

A single hand is used to wrap itself around Jensen’s cock, slowly jerking his as Jared’s tongue teases and fucks the head. Jared uses his other hand to reach up and run it over Jensen’s taught chest, teasing and playing with his nipples causing him to buck wildly and curse with no regard. 

 

One of Jared’s fingers finds it way up to Jensen’s mouth and Jensen lightly bites it, sucking it and coating it with his spit. Jared swirls his tongue around Jensen’s pulsing cock eliciting a silent scream from Jensen who had one hand forcing Jared’s head deeper onto his cock and the other making a futile attempt to grasp at the sheets. 

 

Jared’s slicked finger catches Jensen a little off guard as it slips into him, hard and fast. _What was that_ Jensen thinks as Jared’s finger slides deeper and deeper into his tight heat. 

 

“Fuck, Jay,” Jensen cries and Jared takes that as his cue to slip himself deeper all the while taking Jensen’s cock as far as his throat will allow. 

 

Jared’s tongue began to go slower, teasing and poking Jensen’s cock making the older man curl his toes and bites his lip in pleasure. Jensen really couldn’t take much more of this and decided to give in to a fight he knew he was going to lose. 

 

Jensen raised and lowered his hips, thrusting aimlessly into Jared’s hot mouth while fucking himself deeper onto Jared’s finger. 

 

Jensen’s vociferous screams and filthy moans filled Jared's ears. He could actually hear Jensen coming apart at the seams with pleasure, and he was the one giving it to him. 

 

“Fuck Jare, I’m, –“Jensen tried to warn, but it was too late. With a single thrust into Jared’s moist and hot little mouth and the flick of Jared’s finger against his prostate, he came hot and fast. Jared swallowed taking Jensen’s warm release down his throat and allowing the rest to cover his face and some of Jensen’s chest. 

 

“I love you Jen,” Jared said with a slight smile, kissing Jensen hard, biting on his lip and shoving his cum-covered tongue down Jensen’s throat, making him taste himself in Jared’s mouth. 

 

Jensen sat up as Jared crawled into his lap. Jensen’s hands were all over Jared’s body, unable to control himself, wanting to feel Jared’s hot, smooth skin and never let go. Jensen’s fingers dig into Jared’s back, marking him and making Jared his. 

 

They kiss passionately for what seems like hours, hot short breaths, fevered ‘I-love-you’s’ that are half spoken into the other’s mouth. Jared’s lips are swollen and pink as Jensen continues to mark his body, this time with his teeth on Jared’s chest. 

 

Jensen can still taste himself lingering on Jared’s lips with each forceful kiss and he remembers what he needs to do as Jared’s hard cock desperately grinds into his stomach, urging for relief. 

 

Jensen’s tongue traces Jared’s lips as Jensen reaches down to grasp Jared’s cock, tugging and pulling on it. He grabs it in his palm and jerks it forcefully, wanting that hot release all over his chest. In just a few minutes Jared’s moaning and convulsing uncontrollably as Jensen gives him those last few strokes that send him reeling over the edge. 

 

“You think the new apartment is broken in enough yet?” Jared said with a smile, getting off the bed to pick up his discarded underwear before wiping them down. 

 

“I don’t think it’s quite ready yet,” Jensen teased. “We still haven’t fucked in the living room.”

 

“Yeah I know what you mean,” Jared replied. “Doesn’t feel quite like home until you’ve defiled every room in the place.”

 

Jared collapsed into Jensen’s warm embrace, this time without the burden of Fruit of the Loom in the way. 

 

With an audible whine from Jensen he reluctantly rolled off of his lover’s body and to the side with his back pressed firmly against Jensen’s chest. A muscular arm came to wrap around him, holding him tightly as the embrace and Jensen’s warm breath on the back of his neck once again reminded him, he was safe. 

“We have packing to do tomorrow,” Jensen said sleepily. “I’ll get up early and let you sleep in.”

 

Jared nuzzled up closer to Jensen’s body and before long sleep had claimed them both. 

 

~*~

 

_She works hard for the money._

 

_So hard for it honey_

 

_She works hard for the money, so you better treat her right_

 

The next morning Jared woke up to the sound of Donna Summer’s voice blasting throughout the entire house. He yawned sleepily and noticed that the warm touch of Jensen’s body was missing; quickly coming to the realization Jensen must have woken up and managed to put together the stereo system. 

 

It was slightly weird as Jared was sure he once heard Jensen use the word ‘newfangled’ and he wasn’t exactly the most tech-savvy guy around. He continued to stare at the ceiling for a few seconds, still naked from the night before trying to take in everything that had happened to him. He loved waking up in the warm bed instead of a cold floor and quite childishly he thought, he also loved the feeling of the carpet between his toes. It was one of the main reasons they had chosen this particular apartment. Jensen had merely laughed when Jared told him about the carpet appeal, but deep down Jensen was happy Jared finally had a home and would spare no expense making sure it was just the way Jared wanted it. 

 

Slowly he got up and slipped on a fresh pair of boxer-briefs, his pair from the night before had come all over it and he figured that it would be _slightly_ obscene to walk around in them. He walked out slowly into the short hallway and followed the sound of the music into the large living room which was littered with boxes and a new big screen T.V. he had never seen before. 

 

Kylie Minogue’s _Better The Devil You Know_ began to play as he noticed Jensen sitting silently in front of the television unwrapping figurines, lamps and other small objects from the bubble wrap they had packed it all in. 

 

“Morning,” Jared said flashing his million dollar smile at Jensen who jumped slightly in surprise. 

 

“You scared me,” Jensen said with a laugh getting up from his place in front of the television and moving towards Jared giving him a good morning kiss and hug. Jensen was wearing a skimpy pair of boxer-briefs and the site of him made Jared immediately rock hard. 

 

“I see little Jared is happy to see me too,” Jensen whispered into his ear with a laugh, running his palm over Jared’s cock teasing him from the outside of his underwear. 

 

“Dance with me,” Jensen said abruptly. 

 

“What? Here? Now?” Jared questioned. 

 

“Sure why not?” Jensen said putting one hand around Jared’s neck and using the second to place Jared’s hand on his ass as the chorus began. Jared gripped Jensen closer, as their lips met and their tongues darted into the other’s mouth all the while moving to the beat of the music. 

 

Jensen loved the feel of Jared’s muscles flush against his chest, his huge arms grabbing his ass as he fucked his mouth with his tongue. He noticed how snugly those boxer-briefs hung on Jared’s hips and how low they dipper as they began to grind their cocks against each other through their underwear in time with the fast sensual rhythm of the song. 

 

Jared moaned as Jensen’s head dove into the side of his neck, licking and sucking on it as the music continued. Jared could feel Jensen’s growing cock against his which turned him on even more as they used each other for friction, grinding their hips faster and faster. Jared’s fingers sank into Jensen’s hips pulling their bodies closer and tightly together. They could feel their orgasms building as they rubbed against one another, their mouths hungrily devouring the other reusing to let go. 

 

Jensen’s head lowered, his tongue flicking across the metal of Jared’s nipple ring, taking the cool metal into his mouth and sucking on it. Jared let out a loud moan right then and there blowing his load inside his boxer-briefs. A quick kiss from Jared with a swivel of his hips sent Jensen plunging right afterwards as the song finally came to an end. 

 

They both collapsed onto the nearby sofa, tangled in each other’s arms. 

 

“I remembered you could dance, but I didn’t know you could do _that_ ,” Jensen said with a content sigh. 

 

“I still have a few tricks up my sleeve,” Jared said in a low flirty voice that made Jensen twitch in his boxers. 

 

“But what is up with your music collection dude? Donna Summer? Kylie Minogue? You really sure you want out neighbors to know we’re gay this soon?”

 

“Considering the moans you made while we fucked last night, I don’t think it’s much of a secret anymore,” Jensen teased, nobody made fun of _his_ music collection no matter how eclectic it might’ve been. 

 

“ _Whatever_ ,” Jared said. “You were the one all _Oh yeah Jared, suck me harder_ last night.”

 

“Jensen Ackles doesn’t have to beg,” Jensen said “He simply inspires everyone he’s in love with to give him great head,” Jensen stated matter-of-factly. 

 

Jensen untied himself from the knot of body parts he and Jared had made on the sofa and quickly made his way to the bedroom, searching for a pair of not so wet underwear for both Jared and himself. He was excited Jared was enjoying living with him and if everyday started our as good as this one did, well he would enjoy it a lot more too. The only downside he could see was having to spend hundreds on detergent and underwear since they seemed to be changing into a new pair every time they got close, which was very, _very_ often. 

 

He quickly walked back into the living room to find Jared sitting and staring contemplatively at a small framed picture of Jensen as well as several other mementos Jensen had decorated the old apartment with. Jensen noticed him let out a small sigh as he unpacked them and neatly placed them on a table. 

 

“What’s the matter?” Jensen said softly, hoping everything was okay and Jared was comfortable living with him.

 

“Nothing,” Jared said unconvincingly. “It’s just that…well nothing in here is really mine. I didn’t have much stuff with me when I left home and…I don’t know, it’s stupid I guess.”

 

“Hey, it’s not. I understand how you feel,” Jensen comforted. “It’s weird being in a home where there aren’t pictures of you and your stuff everywhere.” 

 

Jensen slowly rubbed his back and kissed him on the cheek. “Don’t worry we have plenty of time for that. And it won’t just be my stuff and your stuff it’ll be _our_ stuff.”

 

Jared loved that thought. He would eventually stop thinking of it as Jensen’s apartment, and more like _our_ apartment, and the thought of having pictures of the two of them, and roses and cards in addition to all sorts of tokens of their love all over the house warmed his heart. 

 

Later that day they continued to unpack all the stuff they had brought over with them, finally setting up the coffee maker and getting started on getting rid of the hideous paisley that dimmed their bedroom walls. 

 

As they both continued to pack Jensen watched Jared. It seemed like an odd thing to do, but just admiring him, all sweaty and flustered from lifting sofas and rearranging furniture immediately gave him a feeling that would resonate throughout his entire body. He was never so happy to be at home, having it empty only served to worsen his depression and further his personal demons. 

 

Michael had left him with some pretty grievous wounds that still hadn’t healed, and in reality maybe they never would but he had Jared here to ease the pain and as long as he didn’t have to suffer alone, as long as he had a loving touch and someone to keep him warm in the middle of the night it really didn’t matter much. 

 

“What is _this_?” Jared asked as Jensen tried to hide the fact he was staring at him, quite unsuccessfully to Jensen’s dismay but to Jared it had only made him love Jensen even more, if that were even at all possible. 

 

“What does it look like?” Jensen admonished.

 

“It looks like a figurine of two mallards kissing, but obviously my eyes must be failing me because no one would seriously consider putting something that hideous on display in their own home,” Jared said succinctly about the figurine which in all honestly had obviously been forged in the fires of hell itself. 

 

“It has esoteric appeal,” Jensen said trying to sound smart.

 

“Ill say,” Jared said placing it down on the nearby table and reaching over to grab something else out of the box in front of him.

 

“Hey don’t diss my mallards,” Jensen said, before realizing how _ridiculous_ that sentence sounded. 

 

“You may be great at a lot of things, but Martha Stewart you ain’t,” Jared said teasingly. 

 

Jensen had had enough. He wasn’t going to take any lip from an 18 year old of all people and playfully tackled Jared who despite his size was pinned beneath Jensen’s weight. Slowly Jensen dipped his head on for a kiss as Jared made futile struggles to free himself from Jensen’s clutches. When their lips met Jensen’s body relaxed he was surprised as Jared’s arms grasped his flipping him over and onto his back. 

 

Jensen tried to kick his way free. Surely he was stronger than Jared. Jared smiled as he held Jensen down struggling as he bucked wildly under him. Jared pinned his wrists down above his head and kissed him, hard and fast. Jared’s tongue traced Jensen’s soft, hot lips as they kissed biting and nibbling at the already swollen and pink lips. Jared began to grind his cock into Jensen’s, who was still struggling a little bit to gain some freedom. Jensen’s legs flailed hitting the small table beside them. The mallards fell to the floor and shattered into a million little pieces as Jared uncontrollably let out a deep throated groan and thrust his hips into Jensen’s.

 

And just like that Jensen was hard again. 

 

~*~

 

Later that day the clouds had cleared and the sun was beaming. It was nearing the end of summer once more, and what a summer it had been. So much had happened in just a few short months. 

They had both decided the rest of the day would be better spent walking in the park outside the apartment complex and getting some fresh air, as well as getting to know the area a bit better. 

 

Jared’s hands linked with Jensen’s as they ambled down the paved walkway. They had never really showed affection in public before and doing it now so out in the open was refreshing. They had bought cotton candy from a nearby vendor and shared it as they walked. They fed it to each other as they walked, each putting small bites into the other’s mouth every so often kissing with a piece of the delicious treat in their mouths. The somewhat shy and reserved moments between them had all but disappeared, and they both enjoyed where life had eventually taken them. 

 

Jared had gotten his old job back after some very awkward explaining as to why he left with no notice and Jensen was recovering at a good pace. They had visited a specialist who assured them Jensen would once again be his old self if he promised to eat and take all the medication prescribed. 

 

As they walked down the cobbled path, hand in hand a single leaf fell from a tree. There would be no more “one summer ago” for a new season had started. The memories of the past would always remind them of where they once were how far they had slipped and fallen but there was so much more ahead. That was the thing about falling, you either had to let yourself stay and endure the humiliation, or you could get up dust yourself off and get right back up again. 

 

As the sun set on the perfect day, they walked out of the park as Jensen looked at Jared, the boy whose life he had saved all those weeks ago and smiled. It turns out Jared was more than just a face, he was a person who he’d grown to love and adore. 

 

“What’s the huge smile for?” Jared asked.

 

“Nothing,” Jensen said twirling the fallen leaf in his hand. “And everything,” He continued, letting go of the small leaf in the gust of wind that came.


End file.
